Consequences
by Jenny0305
Summary: Tired of always doing the right thing, perfect Bella rebels and develops a new persona to release the tension that she feels with her parents. But just remember that for every action there will be a consequence sooner or later.
1. Chapter 1

I'm back! Classes are officially over on Weds. And this story has been in my mind for weeks now so I thought I'd get started. Please tell me what you guys think!

Summary: Perfect daughter and student Isabella Swan faces life changing problems beginning from the divorce of her parents to meeting a badass player Edward Cullen that'll define her destiny. Tired of always doing the right thing, she rebels and develops a new persona to release the tension that she feels with her parents. But just remember that for every action there will be a consequence sooner or later.

CHAPTER ONE.

"Hello earth to Bella Swan!!" yelled my best friend Alice Brandon in my ear. Alice was pixie like barely reaching 5 feet with black spiky hair and hazel eyes; even though she was so tiny she had an energy that was as boastful as being knocked off by a punching bag. Alice and I had been best friend ever since we were three years old. Ever since then, we've been like peanut butter and jelly. Even though we were nothing alike; for her loudness I was reserved. I didn't talk much, I was known for saying fewer words and for being too nice. I could never hurt anyone's feelings; I felt like I had too be the perfect child, the perfect student, the perfect everything……while Alice did what she wanted as long as she was happy that was all that counted. I envied that, I wish I could tell people how I really feel. I shook my head breaking off my daydream which is something I've been doing a lot lately. My parents are splitting up; the ones who I thought were the perfect couple were done with each other and I was in complete shock. I didn't understand anything and I was torn between which parents to side with. I never realized how hard it was to have divorced parents to have to chose which one to live with, which one to spend the weekend with, which present you liked better, if you could trash them when your with the other one, it was confusing and irritating. It was wrong for a child to be in this place.

"Sorry Ali I was just thinking about something" I said sadly just thinking about the past broke my heart into a million pieces over and over again. I loved my parents, both of them equally for their different personalities and now I was beginning to resent them, for what they were doing to me….but I resented myself more because they didn't know how I was feeling. I kept it hidden now inside my heart with a lock and key.

Alice's eyes softened up and she grabbed my hand she knew that I was having a really hard time dealing with all of this. "Oh Bella still thinking about your parents? You really need to stop torturing yourself sweetie you're just hurting yourself more." I smiled at Alice; she was so complex, sometimes she was a mother, a big sister, a protector, the evil doer, she could be so many things at once without her I would be lost. In a way she was my rock, she was always there for me and without her I wouldn't have done so many things these past years. She gave me the courage that I needed to do what I wanted to do, but was too afraid to do.

"It's just hard, no one understands what I'm going through right now……Renee and Charlie are making this really hard on me. I just want to escape and forget everything…." My voice trailed off. Lately it felt like I've been talking too much when I only say a few words. I know that was barely twenty words probably but that's how I felt. I was depressed and frustrated.

"I bet. I never thought your parents would get a divorce they're always so….perfect." said Alice sympathetically. She understood what I was talking about well somewhat she had seen my parents all the time. It made no sense. Love made no sense. Pain made no sense. Nothing was making sense anymore. Everything I thought I knew was wrong.

"Exactly what I'm saying" I said bitterly. Who the hell understood love? I mean what exactly did love mean? I always thought that the pure definition of love was Charlie and Renee but it can't be that. Their love was perfect and now it was gone; only pure hatred was left. So love had to be the exact opposite of what Charlie and Renee acted; at least true love did. It couldn't be perfect, there had to be arguments, and there had to be drama that must be true love.

"Bells!!" yelled Charlie from the living room. I got off the bed and walked out of my room and down the stairs of my "second house" where I was alternately sleeping one day with Charlie and one day with Renee until they could figure out my living arrangements. Here I was seventeen years old and I had no right to even chose who I wanted to live with; priceless. Maybe it was better this way I couldn't even think about choosing to live with one….it would break one of their hearts and I could never do that to them even if they broke mine. I hated this, having two homes; it was just wrong….and confusing. Sometimes I would leave a math book over at one parent's house and the other one wouldn't drive me there saying they don't want to see each other. They could at least try to be cordial for my sakes but god no heaven forbid they actually smile at one another or at least not scream how much they hate each other at the top of their lungs when whenever they see each other.

"What Dad?" I asked as I walked into the living room. There he was in simple pair of jeans and a black buttoned up shirt with a beer on his hand watching the baseball game. It was so Charlie. Charlie was a laid back type of man he didn't ask for much or said much; it was just the small gestures that let you knew that he loved you. Like for example, every Wednesday when Renee, my mother, went out with her friends my dad would get Mexican food because I was crazy about it and always a huge bag of M&Ms because I had a huge sweet tooth. Or it was that crinkly smile that made his eyes glass over when he was proud of something I did.

"Is Alice staying for dinner?" he asked. He didn't even glance at me he was too interested in his game, in his divorce, in his life, to even notice that I was sad. Maybe I expected too much from them……maybe I needed to stop being so nice.

"I don't know if she wants too" I said shrugging my shoulders even though he couldn't see this gesture.

"Oh…I was planning on going out with the guys tonight to a bar so you should invite her to eat with you; I don't want you to be alone"

"Okay" I didn't know what else to say. Do I say good luck and I hope you score some hot babe or how could you do this, it's only been a month and a half since you and mom separated? So I chose the easy way, just don't say much. That way I can't get into any trouble with them.

"Okay then" said Charlie taking a sip of his beer. He finally glanced at me and gave me a small smile "I won't be home till really late though so you're sure you'll be okay"

"Right, yeah….okay…well I'll see you tomorrow Dad" I walked away from him back to the room and plopped myself onto the bed "Could my life get anymore awkward?"

"Oh everything is going to be fine what you need is a distraction" said Alice with a weird gleam in her eyes. I knew what that meant trouble—but for the first time in my life I wasn't going to object—I needed something crazy. Something reckless maybe that'll make me feel better. That was the thing about Alice she was used to dysfunctional families. Her father had abandoned her and her mother when she was three. She didn't remember the guy, hated or cared about him, he was just something that once was in her life but not there anymore. She was always fine with the changes in her life and if she wasn't she would party like a maniac or cause some disruption in the small town of Forks until she felt better. Usually that meant bringing me alone for the ride.

"I know that look; you're up to no good but…." I smiled at her mischievously and for the first time in a long time I felt like I was taking some sort of control in my life "I'm in. I need to do something crazy to release some tension" I announced to her.

Alice gasped and fell back on the bed putting her hand on her forehead "What? Oh My Lord Isabella Swan wants to do something crazy for once in her life….the world must be ending" said Alice with a huge smile. She was obviously enjoying this a lot more than any normal person should, I guess anyone would enjoy their always good best friend turning crazy on you.

"Just tell me what you want to do" I said quickly before I changed my mind.

"We're going to dress super good tonight because we're going to a party. I met this guy the other day remember I told you about him"

"The one with the weird name" I said with a small smile. Alice had been talking nonstop about him ever since she met him at the mall. Apparently the boy knew how to dress or something like that and looked "totally dreamy" (Alice words not mine for I had yet to meet this super dreamy boy).

"His name is not weird it's' unique" said Alice defending her lover. Her eyes got that whole sparkly thing going on and I envied her yet again maybe if I could fall in love, things would be better because then I would have someone to love and protect me. I mean I had Alice and she was great, the best friend a girl could ever ask for, but I needed more.

"Yes Jasper is a very unique name" I said rolling my eyes. "So what about him?"

"Well he invited me to a college party and we're going tonight. I already told him yes that's why I came over so I could force you to come with me my dear friend" said Alice. She was right, if she wanted me to go with her anywhere I would go eventually even if threw a hissy fit for hours eventually my ass would be in her yellow Porsche.

"You didn't say he was in college….how old is he?" I asked out of curiosity but of course because Alice knew me so well she thought it was of concern, of being a goody-two-shoe.

"Oh no the old Bella is coming back!" said Alice throwing her hands up in the air in mock desperation.

"No I'm not…." I said. I sighed "Ok we'll go but can I at least now how old is he? I mean we are only 17"

"He's only 19; he just turned it a few months ago actually so he's not that old. He's a freshman in college for your information darling and he's a complete sweetheart….maybe he can find someone for you."

"I don't know about that I just want to drink and have fun'" I told her. I didn't want to tell her that I wanted to find someone to love because then Alice would go all nutty on me and set me up on so many blind dates that I would want to jump off the Empire State building just to escape her.

"Awe my Bella is going to get wasted tonight!" said Alice giggling. Apparently I was an entertaining drunk; even though I only had gotten drunk twice in my life but there has been proof (Alice's phone) of my acting all loony and funny. Who knew I could be so "loose" when you give me a few shots of Vodka.

"We just have to wait till Charlie leaves and then we're off into the adventures off the night" I said with a small smile.

Alice and I were in the dining room eating some spaghetti and meatballs when my phone rang. I grabbed it and felt like throwing it across the room but of course I was perfect Bella fine with all of the new changes my parents had imposed on me so I managed to smile as I flipped my phone open "Hi Mom"

"Bella are you okay? Did he even feed you?" asked Renee in that annoying tone that I was beginning to hate. Trust me, it sounds concerned but in reality it's just out of pure annoyance that she does this to me every other night. She calls and asks how I'm doing? But in reality all she wants to do is trash on my father (yes, my father isn't that enough of an excuse to keep her mouth shut? I do love my father unless she forgot.) Mentally rolling my eyes right now as my mother continues to ask questions she knows deep in her heart that my father would never do any of these things.

"Yes Mom" I said interrupting her from asking me anymore questions. "Alice and I are eating spaghetti and meatballs it's really good Mom so please stop worrying okay" I said in an extremely sweet voice that made me want to gag. Alice laughed shaking her head.

"I bet you made it! He treats like if you were his slave making you cook everyday you're there"

"Mom you don't cook either" I pointed out. It was really the maid who cooked for us every night not Mom. Renee couldn't cook to save her life; she would probably poison me if she tried to make something as simple as peanut butter and jelly. My mom was rich, she was the social gala woman who was involved in charities and benefits and social events that you would have to make an appointment to see her (not me but others) but she was a great mom. Maybe she cared a little bit too much about who we were and what we did but it was only for our benefit.

"No, but at least you don't have to do it." Said Renee as this made her meals much better "Anyways I was calling to tell you if you don't mind staying over his house tomorrow too because I met another nice young man today and he invited me to go to a picnic with him."

"Oh I see" I said. That's pretty safe word. Both my parents dating again and I can't even find guys that I'm interested in too date. That was the thing about dating……the guy you weren't interested in is the one who's always chasing you.

"So is that a yes?" she asked. I could hear that this was real concern so I spoke softly trying to make sure that she understood that I loved her and only wanted the best.

"Of course Mom I want you to be happy" I said. _Even though you don't think about my happiness _

"Thank you sweetie I knew you would understand you always understand everything you're just so mature and wise for your age. Your teacher called me you know"

"Which one?" I asked.

"Mr. Lincoln he says you're an excellent student and wanted to congratulate me on having such an intelligent daughter. He's positive you'll get into all the Ivy leagues that we applied for. You're going to make an excellent doctor honey"

"Yeah" I said. I wasn't interested in any of this. Yes, I was smart enough to have a practically perfect GPA and I was probably going to be Valedictorian with the way things were going now…..but I wasn't interested in going to Ivy League what was the point of paying so much? College is college anywhere. I didn't want to go to the East Coast to go to some fancy college far away from my parents, wait strike that out, well Alice to major in Pre-Med when honestly I didn't want to be a doctor. This is the girl who faints when she smells blood for God Sakes. But my parents had different plans for me….and who was I to break their happiness. Yes, I know you're frustrated with me, I'm even more frustrated which is why I need to do reckless behavior for awhile to get this all of my system maybe I'll grow some "balls" on the way and bring up the courage to speak up to everyone.

"Well I should go I'm going to eat dinner with Charlotte" said Renee in a distracted tone. I could just see her right now in front of her mirror applying make-up as if she was a youngster again. The horrible thing about this was that my mother was drop dead gorgeous for her age, she had blonde hair that sometimes was wavy depending on the weather and had light blue eyes and an awesome figure but when you're 17 and your mother looks that good and begins to dress like if she was twenty and not forty something—it is not a good thing.

"Have fun" I told her.

"I will. Good night sweetie"

"Good night Mom" I hung up the phone and slammed it into the table "I hate this! I hate them!"

Alice dropped her fork into the table and looked at me I could tell there was a slight concern on her face though maybe I was angrier then I thought I was—I didn't know anymore. I didn't know anything. "You really are angry" she pointed out.

"No really?" I said coldly. Then I closed my eyes biting my lip. I hadn't wanted to talk to her like that none of this was all her fault, she was the only thing that was set in my life and I didn't want to lose her either. If I did I'd probably end up in an asylum "Sorry I didn't mean to snap at you" I smiled apologetically at her.

Alice smiled comfortingly at me "It's okay really…..but instead of holding all your anger and frustration why don't you tell them how you really feel? Bella you're always so nice to everyone that's why people walk all over you. You didn't say anything when your parents decided for you, that you would be going to Yale or Harvard to study medicine even though you hate science. Or that what you really like is arts and literature…..or the fact that you hate them for getting a divorce and for putting you in such a shitty position, or that you hate going every Saturday to that stupid tea club for young women of society, you don't stand up for yourself Bella"

"I know" I replied frowning "I know"

"Then do something about it" she said frustrated.

"It's too hard. I don't want to disappoint them Ali they're my parents."

"But they've disappointed you"

"That's different…..they don't know how I feel." I said sadly I felt like such a coward "I just need to do something crazy tonight and tomorrow I'll deal with the consequences of a hangover maybe we can do this once a week or something"

Alice shook her head slowly at me I know that she wished that I would take matters into my own hands but this was all I could do right now "I do love the idea Bella but that's not going to fix things" said Alice sympathetically.

"It's a start" I told her hoping she would drop the subject. I didn't want to talk to about this anymore I just wanted to forget and forget….maybe I could start getting high that doesn't that make people feel better? Ok, maybe that's just a little too far, I do want to stay with my good grades and I don't think I would like to be high anyways. No control whatsoever. I would like to have some control on the stupid things I'm going to commit.

"I guess" she said "But if you ever really need to talk just tell me ok"

"I know Alice you're the best friend a girl could ever have" I told her sincerely.

It was 8:00 and we had arrived at this frat house in Washington State University, only about twenty or so minutes away from Forks, Washington. The campus was beautiful and had a homey feeling to it. It wasn't huge but nor small, it was just right I guess. It was surrounded by mountains and it was extremely green like most of Washington.

"I can't believe I'm wearing this" I muttered to myself as we got out off Alice's yellow Porsche. I was wearing a red silky dress that reached mid-thigh and my boobs were practically busting out. Alice forced me to wear freaking stilettos; I felt like a whore or something but I had to admit I did look really sexy. Alice had done my make-up beautifully and I had curled my hair into loose waves. I was definitely going to get comments on my outfit; I looked older, more mature. Meanwhile Alice was wearing a black polka dot strapless dress that was perfect for her personality her hair was in her usual style spiky and she had the whole smoky eye look.

"You look hot as hell every guy will be starting at you" said Alice smiling proud "I'm a fashion genius"

"This should be illegal" I whispered as I pointed towards my revealing outfit that I would never wear ever. But this was the dangerous me, the one who didn't care about anything or anyone. Well the one who took risks and felt free for once in her life.

Alice laughed linking arms with me "You're so cute when you're embarrassed but seriously you do look beautiful. Now walk with the confidence that I know is somewhere in there you little vixen"

I shook my head smiling "How did we become best friends again?"

"Because opposites attract" stated Alice.

We walked into the fraternity house. It was just what I expected teenagers everywhere drunk looking like idiots and drinking Jello shots off each other or grinding their bodies next to each other. This was going to be awesome…..NOT! No stop being so mature, be stupid and young for once Bella stop thinking about the consequences and the future you have to go let loose, be free for once in your life.

So of course when this cute guy handed me a shot I took it, He was taller then me probably six foot with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes; he looked like a model. _Don't mess this up Bella just act cool and natural. Don't act too pretentious either, boys don't like that. _

"Thanks" I said with a friendly smile "I'm Bella and this is my friend Alice"

"I'm Kyle" He handed Alice a shot too and then looked at me up and down. I twirled a piece of my hair the ways I had seen plenty of times in movies hoping it was going to work and my prayers were answered "Want to dance?" he asked me as he smiled at me.

"Go ahead I got to look for Jazz anyways" said Alice. Alice winked at me giving me a discrete thumbs up and then walked away into what I think was the kitchen.

I nodded and Kyle drank his shot and looked at me waiting for me to down mine. I did and I coughed lightly I wasn't used to drinking anything strong at all—the only thing I ever tried was whiskey mixed with something else but it wasn't strong at all I'm pretty sure it had just a little bit of alcohol.

"Um let's go" I managed to mutter to him. He smiled again and grabbed my hand leading me to the dance floor. He brought his body as close to mine as possible and we began to move to the music. He put his lips to my ear

"You look very pretty" he whispered huskily.

I turned to face him slowly making sure that all of my body was touching his and brought my body as close as possible to his. I felt dangerous for once in my life "Thanks." After a little while longer of dancing I decided to move things forward and ask him a bit about his personal life "So what year are you in?"

He went close to my ear and said "This is my third semester. I'm majoring in Accounting and how about you?"

"I'm a senior in high school actually" I said lamely.

He smiled nodding his head lightly "That's cool still…..you know what college you going to yet?"

I shrugged my shoulders "…..it's Undecided right now for me"

"Drinks!" yelled this huge guy with curly brown hair and light brown eyes. He was huge and completely muscular and my first assumption was typical Football player and then asshole.

"Over here! 2 shots" said Kyle putting his hand up motioning the guy to come to him. He got two and handed me one

"Awe you found yourself a beauty" said the big guy looking down at me with a huge grin "When you're finished with her maybe I can take her for a ride"

"Em you're such a horny bastard, get the hell out of there" said Kyle pushing him playfully away. The guy named Emmett winked at me and I just shook my head downing the next shot feeling weird.

"Sorry about him he can't think straight the only reason why he is even in college is because his dad works here" said Kyle after he drank his shot. How did he do that? He acted like he was drinking water and not acid.

"Its fine" I said putting my arms around his neck "Perfectly fine"

He smiled "Yes it is" then he leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips. It was a good kiss so I traced my lips with his tongue and he squeezed me tighter to him. "Come on let's go somewhere more private"

I nodded. I didn't know what else to say I was still a virgin and definitely not crazy enough to lose my virginity to some guy I just met but I couldn't stop either it was like a pull that sent me too anything that was dangerous. On the way there he passed me a huge red cup of something and I downed it down on the way to upstairs.

He led me to a room upstairs and we started making out heavily. He was touching me everywhere and of course I was enjoying it so I didn't stop. But then I got this weird feeling in my stomach, a bad feeling.

"God I feel sick" I whispered to Kyle. I rested my head on the wall that we were leaning on and Kyle stepped back and looked at me.

"You look a little green" he commented

"I think I'm going to throw up" I covered my hands with my mouth but it was too late and I was throwing up right in front of this really cute guy…God how embarrassing!

"Shit! Um look I got to go" then he left as quickly as he came. I knew for sure he wasn't going to come back here. He was going to find someone else who could hold his alcohol that's for sure. I felt like such an idiot; here I was trying to act like some confident little vixen and all I did was just end up embarrassing myself; I was a hopeless cause. Maybe the only thing I could do was be good and be perfect.

I left the room looking for a bathroom, so I could clean myself up a little more. When I opened the bathroom door I found a beautiful perfect looking guy making out with this blonde. She was sitting on top of the sink counter her legs wrapped around his body. She only had a bra on and he only had boxers. He looked at me and smiled at me as he kissed and sucked gently on her neck. Something about him was hypnotizing and I couldn't look away from his piercing emerald green eyes but then I heard a voice

"What the hell? Can't you see we're busy" said the girl finally noticing me.

"Sorry" I managed to say and closed the door quickly. I sat on the floor breathing heavily how could I be so turned on by THAT? What's wrong with me? Too much to drink probably…..But I couldn't help but think about how good he looked….he was a unique beauty. He had some weird colored bronzed messy hair that had sex written all over it and his eyes were so piercing—emerald piercing green eyes. And he had a perfect muscled body. Then I heard a muffled moan from inside the bathroom and I quickly got up I didn't want to hear this……

After finding another bathroom (thankfully empty) I managed to brush my teeth with using my finger and toothpaste and found some Scope. I put some water on my face and grabbed the lip gloss that was hidden inside my cleavage and applied some.

I walked back downstairs to the party and got another drink. I drank it all down and I could tell I was getting used to the alcohol it didn't sting or feel weird anymore. I saw Alice whispering into who I hoped was Jasper's ear. She was right. He was dreamy, he was really tall and muscular with honey blonde curly hair…..Alice giggled and blushed a little bit as she hit him playfully across the chest. How adorable!

"BELLA!!" she called out towards me. I waved and walked over to them slowly trying to dodge the people that were grinding on each other across the living room "I want you to meet Jasper Hale this is my very best friend Bella"

"Nice to meet you Bella" he pulled his hand out and I shook it. Nice firm handshake. He passes the test.

"You too Jasper" I said quietly.

"Are you okay?" asked Alice with a concerned motherly tone.

I nodded and forced a smile. I didn't want to ruin her night too because I was a complete fool I would just keep to myself for the rest of the night and drink, drink, and drink my sorrows away "Yeah I'm fine"

"You don't look okay what happened to the boy you were with?" she asked.

"Didn't work out" I said quickly trying not to sound like a bigger geek that what I already was.

"Oh I see someone I know…..I'll be right back" said Jasper as he put his hand on Alice's shoulder. Alice nodded and smiled as he quickly disappeared among the crowd.

"He's looks like a keeper" I said to Alice

"Yes he is" said Alice eyeing me "So what happened with Kyle?"

"I threw up while we were making out he bolted out of the room after that" I said coolly.

"Oh sorry…..then I guess he wasn't worth it. You'll find someone there are plenty of hot guys here"

"Yeah there is" I said remembering the beautiful creature in the bathroom

"Anyways I just wanted to tell you something before I forget. If anyone asks we're 18 and we go this campus okay"

"You told Jasper that you were 18" I hissed.

"Just do as I say okay" said Alice quickly "He's coming back here"

"I think I'll leave you two alone" I told her. I did not want to be a third wheel and Jasper and Alice needed their alone time anyways so that they could get to know each other and all that.

"Are you sure? I don't mind if you stay with us"

"No I need to find a guy anyways"

"Right…..have fun then" said Alice giving me a small smile.

I nodded and walked away. I looked at the crowd of people dancing on each other and I just didn't feel like it right now. I went back upstairs. I walked to the first door I saw and opened it. The room was surprisingly spotless everything was organized and in order……Whoever lived here was a neat freak; his music bookcase was alphabetized and his clothes in the closet were arranged by color and tone. I sat down on the bed and rested my head on the pillow….and smelled so good the scent was intoxicating, and addicting. I sniffed it letting the essence go all over me.

I guess I fell asleep because the next thing I know someone is whispering in my ear softly. My eyes pop open and I notice that the room is completely dark and I'm sure that I turned my lights on when I walked into the room. Oh, God was I going to get raped?!

"Looks like God answered my prayers" a velvety voice. I jumped out of the bed falling to the ground and I heard a chuckle "sorry I didn't mean to scare you beautiful" his voice sounded amused and I immediately felt angry.

"You almost gave me a heart attack!" I yelled. "I can't see anything" I said searching for the light switch. Where the hell is it? Then I felt a pair of hands meet mine and I felt electric bolts surge through me….then the lights turned on and I gasped it was the sex guy from the bathroom.

"You" I whispered

"Yes me" he said smiling lopsidedly "and you are you" I was so shocked that I couldn't manage to say anything at this hot guy standing in front of me so I just looked at him like a complete idiot. Thank God he didn't think I was a complete idiot because he actually introduced himself to me I'm Edward"

"Bella" I managed to say. I could not believe I was in the same room as the guy—I thought I was never going to see him again. Now that I was in the same room with him I just couldn't believe it—he was so mysteriously sexy.

"Hmm I like that name" He grabbed my hand and kissed the palm of my hand softly.

"Me too" I said totally hypnotized by him. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him I'm sure my eyes were bugging out. I should be totally grossed out I mean he was just having sex with another girl like what half an hour ago and here he was hitting on me but there just something bad, evil, about him that was just what I needed.

"Yeah…..so you were waiting for me" he said smugly.

"What?" I asked confused.

"You saw me, liked what you saw, and you're in my bedroom" he said confidently. Trust me if this was the perfect Bella the one in the daylight I would have slapped the living crap out of him or blushed so hard and ran away….but I just crossed my arms and smirked at him.

"So?"

"So you want me" he said again in that cocky tone. What the hell? He had every right to be cocky, he was PERFECT. I took a step back maybe he was too much, too dangerous, too sexy for his own good. Maybe I should go, find someone safer.

"No I was just looking for a room that's all I didn't know it was yours…..I better go"

"Wait why don't you stay?"

"Um I don't know"

"Come on it'll be fun" he grabbed my hand and led me back to the bed. I reluctantly sat down next to him and I felt this tingly sensation all across my body as he moved in closer until our thighs were actually touching. "So…."

"So" I repeated not really knowing what to say. This whole situation was surreal, something out a movie—this was crazy, maybe crazy enough that it could work.

"I'm not really good with the whole talking ordeal" he said after awhile.

"Neither am I" I said quietly as I stared into his piercing green eyes. God he had such lovely eyes, and the way he was staring at me was so smoldering and passionate. God. I might just die right here.

"Good" then he grabbed my face carefully and kissed me passionately on the lips before I even had a chance to react. I didn't know what to do I just stood there frozen enjoying the moment but too surprised to do anything about it that was until he stuck his tongue into my mouth and I felt like I was melting until a puddle…..I quickly put my hands through his hair and pushed him closer to me. He moaned and pushed me down on the bed so that he was lying on top of me.

"You feel so fucking soft" he kissed my nose lightly and put his hand under my skirt and I tensed a little "so smooth…" he whispered huskily. He began kissing from the corner of my mouth to the crook of my neck and began sucking on the pulse point—Oh, fuck this felt amazing. Please, don't let me throw up again! He positioned himself in between my legs and I felt like I was in heaven when he started moving back and forth slowly. He bit lightly on my collarbone and I moaned in pleasure.

He pulled away and I whimpered and he chuckled lightly and unbuttoned his shirt off revealing the most perfect abs and stomach—Wow this kid was like a Greek God or something. I couldn't help but touch him and he closed his eyes enjoying the moment while I touched his chest and then I began placing soft kisses all around his chest. When I looked back at his eyes they were open and he was looking at me so intensely—no one had ever looked at me like that before—his eyes were so dark and full of lust.

"I want you" he said clearly.

What was I supposed to say to that? This was the moment I was supposed to decide in what I knew what ws right and what I knew was wrong.

Please Review.

It would be greatly appreciated :D


	2. Chapter 2

Just wanted to say thanks to eddieluver & ZukoEdward'sAussiegirl for reviewing, thank you so much! :D

Sorry for taking so long to update but I got stuck in this one part. I'm not really good with writing all the sex scenes so I sort of just skim through it. Enjoy!

_**CHAPTER TWO. **_

This was the moment I was supposed to decide in what I knew what was right and what I knew was wrong. I bit my lip hesitating for a moment. I knew what the right answer was it was a no but as I looked into his piercing emerald green eyes, I knew that maybe it could be a yes. I mean think about it there are girls who lose their virginities to guys they don't know all the time, or to a boy that they have dated ever since the beginning of time and then in the end they end up breaking their hearts, but with him he was a stranger. He could never hurt me. I was positive that he had enough experience to make this worthwhile.

So even though I should say no and push him off and go back downstairs to where it was safe and Alice is waiting for me. I found myself doing something else completely—maybe it was because I was so intoxicated and he was so good looking and smelled so good or maybe I was just too attracted to this green eyed boyishly handsome man above me but I pulled him down from the neck and kissed him roughly.

We kissed like that for what felt forever and then he pulled away again resting our foreheads together and mumbled "Too much clothes" he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans pulling it down to reveal black boxer briefs and I gulped when I saw his erect member, _so huge. Oh, God this was going to fucking hurt like hell._

I shook my nerves away and slipped my dress off revealing my underwear. Once that was done, Edward looked me over and I felt myself blush. He unclipped my black strapless bra and went back on top of me as he kissed me. He was kissing my neck when he pulled away for a second and opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out a condom. He quickly rolled it onto himself and placed himself between my legs and eased himself into me.

Wow. God. That was not what I expected at all—it had hurt a lot in the beginning but that was probably my fault since I didn't tell him I was a virgin. For a second I thought he was going to pull out but after a moment of him being completely still, he smiled at me and kissed me again. And so it began. Even though it started off painful, it turned out to be pleasurable, he was so caring trying to make sure that I enjoyed this as much as possible.

When we were finished he rolled off of me and went back to his side "That was a lot of fun" he said as he put his hands behind his head.

"Yeah" I said honestly. That had been a lot of fun I felt like I was in heaven or something….and his oh so talented hands God mercy this dude was perfect! He had made me forget about everything all I needed to this perfect ending was for him to fall madly in love with me and for my parents to get back together "I should get dressed my friend is probably looking for me" I told him after a few uncomfortable moments of silence were all we did was look at each but not say anything at all.

"Okay" said Edward.

We put back our clothes and I made sure that everything was smooth, no wrinkles, I didn't want the whole world finding out that I just had sex with some guy at a party. I didn't know what to do now. He was buttoning up his shirt and he looked so relaxed, like this was the most normal thing in the world. Then I smiled to myself because sex was normal, it was part of the cycle of life.

These questions began popping into my mind. Was I supposed to wait for him? Try to make conversation? Or do I just walk out that door and never look back? Damn it. Why couldn't they have a course on things that actually mattered in life?

I glanced back at Edward and he was done, his eyes met mine, and he looked at me with a poker face on so honestly that left me more clueless so I just walked to the door. If he wanted to talk to me, he would. But I was sure he wouldn't want too. Why would he want too?

"Well it was nice meeting you" I said awkwardly. I had to be at least polite right? I mean that was rather rude just leaving without saying anything after he made my first time probably a night to remember.

He glanced at me as he was trying to figure something out which just made more uncomfortable so I glanced at the wall behind him concentrating on the CD covers "You too…..Carla right?" he asked. That's when I realized what I had just done. You know that sinking feeling when you thought you were at the top of your game, that you were all cool and crazy, and you get punched in the gut with the realization that you've just done the most stupid thing ever! I had just slept with a stranger. Oh, God I want to die—I took this way too far this time. What was I thinking?

"No" I squeaked out before opening the door and walking out of there as fast as possible. I had lost my virginity to the most hottest guy I had ever laid eyes on and I had become just another one, because he didn't even remember my name. Yes, I could've said no but I wanted to be with him but now that I think about maybe it wasn't such a good idea. How about if I get an STD or pregnant or something like that? Oh God I was so stupid, so stupid, there was a reason why book smart people should stick to academics and not try to act like party animals.

I felt someone grab my arm and turned around it was him and he looked pissed even though I had no idea why. I should be the one who's angry I was the one who gave away something precious to him "What the hell was that?" he said loudly.

"What?" I asked mortified I just wanted to leave. Maybe there was a reason why I always chose to do the right thing….yeah so I didn't do this stupid shit. That's why.

"You just walk away from me like that!" he said irritated.

"Well I didn't know what else to say Edward" I hissed angrily. How could he not remember my name? That asshole, I gave you something special and you just made me feel worthless, like if I was trash. Ugh, I am so disappointed in myself.

He smiled at me and I wanted to punch him for some reason "Oh it's about that I was just joking I did remember your name silly didn't you hear me yell it out when I came"

I blushed when he said that as I remembered it, how his face was all sweaty and sexy, and he was looking at me so intensely…..I shook my head to get those thoughts off my head and whispered "No" making sure to avoid his eyes as I felt like a complete fool. For one minute I am completely attracted to this guy and the next I feel like shit, then I feel angry, and now I'm back at his mercy again. This is all so messy.

"How could I forget your name it fits you perfectly" he said caressing my cheek. I looked at him now and God he was so pretty and he probably made my first time, the best time. He was so experienced.

"But you're still going to forget about me……anyways what was I your third lay of the night?" I said in a teasing tone so that he didn't think I was an even bigger loser then what I knew I was.

"More like the fifth" he said in a serious tone that I knew he wasn't kidding but then he gave me a small comforting smile "but…..you were the only virgin I slept with tonight" he said as if that would make it all better. Like if that didn't make me worry even more about the risk of getting pregnant or catching something.

"Great!" I said sarcastically

"Let me take you home" he said. You know I would've thought that this kid had a heart if he hadn't said it at the same time as his eyes wandered to this group of girls who were laughing loudly and annoyingly at the end of the hall.

"No I don't need anyone's sympathy" I said quietly.

His eyes glanced up to mine and he arched his eyebrow as if I was missing something "It's not for sympathy I'm not nice enough to do that, I like you and I enjoyed myself that's why I'm doing it. I want to see you again"

"I don't know" I told him. I felt so lost and my head was starting to hurt and I was a little sore and I just needed Alice. What was I going to tell her? Could I tell her this? What am I saying I had too or I was going to die if I didn't. This was so nuts and definitely not me.

"Are you always so afraid?" he asked me out of nowhere.

I narrowed my eyes at him. Who did this kid think he was? He didn't know me. "I'm not afraid" I snapped.

"It's like your holding back or something….you sound like a little girl, so indecisive" he said with a smirk.

"I'm not a little girl." I hissed at him annoyed with myself more then him "Fine, you can take me home!"

"Good let me get my keys" he said. He walked away and then I realized that he had done that so that he could win the little cheater. But then I couldn't help but smile as I realized that he wanted to spend more time with me.

He returned a minute later and grabbed my hand "Let's get going Bella"

We walked downstairs and a group of girls that were talking all stopped to look at us. I couldn't help but smirk _Ha I had slept with him not any of you guys! What the hell am I saying I'm probably never going to see him again after this….Oh God I'm losing my mind—I'm going bi-polar now. Great. _

"Edward" one of the girls said nodding her head at him. She glanced at me and pretty much inspected me from head to toe before looking at me again with this smile on her face. She turned to these two girls who were next to her and whispered something; they glanced at me, and then began laughing.

Edward sensing my slowness as I walked past these girls pushed me forward so that I was in front now as he had his arm behind my back. I couldn't help but feel paranoid that he had only put me in front of him so that he could wink or mouth something to that girl. He stopped at the front of the door and I turned around to look at him "Don't you need to talk to your friend first?"

"I'll text her" I replied.

"Ok" He opened the door and went out first I followed behind him into the pathway. We walked silently to the street and then he stopped in front of an Ashton Martin. I got in inside the passenger side and quickly texted Alice: _Going home got a ride, ttyl. _

"Nice car" I told him when he got inside the car.

"It is isn't it?" he turned on the car and sped out of there quickly.

In the car the drive to my place was quiet and thank God, it was happening this way because I honestly had no idea what to say right now. Thankfully he said nothing when I told him to drop me off my father's house he just arched his eyebrow and nodded when I told him how to get there.

"So how come I've never seen you around here" he asked when we were about halfway to my house.

"I don't know I've never seen you either" I told him calmly. I was not going to tell him I was in high school, no way; he would think I'm a loser or something it was best to let him think that I was in college. Plus I was pretty sure he did not care; it's not like I was his special lay tonight.

"Hmm what's your major?" he asked me.

I wracked my brain trying to pick a major in my head that I could know something about and just decided to pick Undecided that was safe that meant I didn't have to know a specific class I was supposed to be taking just taking pretty much a little bit of everything. "I'm undecided still, you?"

"Law" he responded smoothly.

"That's really good" I told him a bit surprised. He's smart too. He's like the perfect combination sexy and intelligent. How is this kid single? I wonder why is it that all the good catches are douche bags

"Yep"

"So do you like being in a fraternity?" I asked conversationally.

"Yeah it's okay I like the parties and the perks that come with it" he said with a cocky grin.

"You mean the girls" I said smiling because I knew I had guessed right. He was the typical frat boy. In a few years when I met someone special I'll probably regret having slept with a fray boy. If Renee knew what I had done, she would freak. What am I saying she would probably blame it on Charlie and Charlie would blame it on her

"Yes" he chuckled. I didn't know what else to say so I just rested my head on the window and glanced at the streets "Are you always like this?" he asked after a few minutes.

"Like what?" I whisper.

"Just not talkative and I don't know just THIS…" he said pointing at me.

"Yes" I said nodding my head slowly not really understand the question but I knew that he didn't really care what I responded I could tell him I had three toes on my left foot and he would still fuck me. I was sure of that. He had that whole jackass player thing written all over his cocky forehead.

"I like it…" he swerved the car to the right and stopped the car in front of someone's house braking so quickly that I almost hit my head.

"What the…" I was interrupted by his lips smashing onto mine. He bit my lip and I was certain that my lip was bleeding right now but all I did was stare at his eyes completely dumbfounded. This was the most bizarre thing that has ever happened to me, ever.

"Less talking, more sex" he whispered before kissing me again.

I pulled him away feeling more confident "Who says I'm going to have sex with you again?" I whispered to him with a sly smile. I couldn't believe I was going to have sex with him again but I was…..I was sure of it as soon as his lips came in contact with mine. I don't know how to explain it but he just heated up my body and made me feel tingly all over the place, like anything was possible when I was with him.

"I say so" then he kissed me again this time more softly and grabbed my hand leading it to his jeans.

I got to Charlie's house at 4 am after having sex with Edward in the car. I always imagined having sex in the car would be dangerous and even more exhilarating but I was wrong…..at least in this situation. It was a little bit uncomfortable in that limited space and I kept hitting my back on the steering wheel. But enough about that….

Wow I had sex twice with a stranger I didn't even know the kid's last name. But in a way it felt good. I never had done anything so dangerous in my life. If Renee or Charlie ever found out that would really blow off their socks. I opened the front door slowly and closed it quickly hoping that Charlie wasn't waiting up for me. I went upstairs and I had to pass through Charlie's room to go to mine I noticed the door was open _Damn it, he was waiting for me. He's going to kill me. Maybe that's a good thing so he can finally notice that I'm not his perfect little girl anymore. _

Then I noticed that his room was just as he had left it in the morning. He hadn't even come home yet. Wow Charlie way too to go! Looks like I wasn't the only one who got laid tonight I thought bitterly. I stomped towards my room and took off all my clothes then I took a warm shower and went straight to sleep.

When I woke up in the morning my head was pounding and my body felt sore in some places but in a way I felt liberated. I wondered if Edward really was going to see me again….I didn't understand how? He didn't even ask for my number and I was too embarrassed/afraid to ask for his. He did know where I lived though so I guess if he wanted to see me again. He would just come here.

I took a shower and blow dried my hair until it was soft and straight then I put on some light blue jeans and a beautiful white tunic top. I went downstairs and went straight to the kitchen the first thing I did was get some Tylenol for the hangover. Then I got some cereal and began eating slowly as I tried to figure out my plans for today.

I was thinking about calling Alice today so that I could tell her everything when the phone rang and I went to get it. "Swan Residence" I said as I picked up.

"Hello sexy" said that velvety voice that I could recognize anywhere now. It plagued my dreams last night. All I could think about were his piercing green eyes or the way that he stared at me like if I was the most precious thing in the world.

I almost dropped the phone but luckily I caught it just in time and smiled as I said "Um hey Edward you called"

"You thought I wouldn't" he stated.

"Yes" I said honestly. My heart was beating so fast I thought I wasn't going to be able to hear anything he said.

"Well I did"

"How did you get my number?" I asked curiously.

"The phone book" he replied.

"Oh"

"What can I say? When I want something I get it"

I smiled. I could practically see that cocky smile in his face as he said that. "I bet you do"

He chuckled "I want to see you again tonight I'll pick you up at 10 in front of your house"

"Do I even have a choice?"

"Nope. I'll see you later" then he hung up the phone. Wow. He really wasn't like most boys maybe because the only boys I had ever been with our high school boys…..I've dated in high school I had three boyfriends, nothing special, I liked them, maybe cared for them but that was it….maybe it was more like a rite of passage to something more real….I don't know when it comes to love I am clueless. Before I had always tried to find the perfect guy, tried to find a relationship like Renee's and Charlie, but no one was ever good enough so I parted ways with them and moved on to the next possible candidate, but nothing….but now that they were hating each other, I didn't know what I was supposed to be looking for. Alice always says that I'll just know when the right guy comes along…..so I guess that means I haven't found him yet. So that didn't mean I couldn't play the field, Alice does it all the time, and she enjoys it so why can't I.

"Well I do want to see him again" I said to myself as I remembered his soft lips everywhere in my body.

Alice came over for awhile to pick up her things I couldn't resist so I told her everything that happened. She just sat down on the bed and listened quietly for once without interrupting to every detail I told her. I thought she was going into shock or something so I threw a pillow at her. She shook her head and put the pillow to her side _Wow not even an attack back that is so un-Alice like. _

She finally shook her head slowly and looked at me with a weird expression on her face "So let me get this straight you lost your virginity, had sex again in the car with some random stranger who was having sex with girls all night…..and you're seeing him again" she summarized. The way she said it made me feel somewhat dirty but the high that I got from seeing him was worth being slutty plus compared to other girls I really wasn't slutty.

"Yes he's dangerous Alice and I like it" I told her.

Alice opened her mouth but then closed it again and took a deep breathe before releasing it slowly "He probably has an STD tell me you guys at least used a condom"

"Yes we did"

"I can't believe this" she mumbled to herself. She glanced at me "I'm taking you to the doctors to get tested"

"Okay that way I can get some birth control or the shot….I don't know really know which one should I get because I think if I got birth control I would forget one day and I don't want to risk that"

"Bella stop!" she said loudly. I looked at her waiting for her to get what she had to get out, out. I knew her. She probably had a long sermon for me to hear by now. "Bella you can't see him again it's not safe…" she grabbed my hand "…you might fall for him and I really don't like the way you described me to him. He sounds shady."

"I think I already did. I can't stop thinking about him he's just so hot and passionate"

"DANGEROUS!" yelled Alice like a madwoman. "He's going to break your heart. You can't play with the fire and not get burnt Bella. What were you thinking when you said yes? Twice! Twice Bella!"

"I'll take my chances" I told her ignoring the rest of her questions because honestly I couldn't tell her. She wouldn't understand.

"You can't change him into wanting a relationship with you"

"Who says I want one?" I said crossing my arms.

"I know you, you will want one"

"Maybe I can get him to want one with me" I told her then I felt stupid. I didn't love him or even care about him I just thought he was really hot and was an amazing lover but that was it—he did intrigue me though and maybe that was dangerous. But I liked the feeling so I was going to take the chance.

"Oh God do you hear yourself? You're acting like those girls from the movies, the one who says they can change the guys they love….."

"Good point. Ali they always change" I told her only because I liked teasing her right now. I was always the one that gave her these motherly prep talks not her to me. It was funny and now I realized why she loved harassing me so much it was fun toying with her.

"Those are movies this is real life" she screeched.

"Alice you're going to get a pimple with how much you're freaking out right now……I can do it okay" I said it smiling hugely to see if she would realize that I didn't really mean any of this "I don't even know why we're talking about this I just want to be with him okay I don't even know him yet"

"Oh God" Alice whispered and then she groaned throwing herself on my bed "I should've never brought you to the party"

"I'm glad you did. You opened my eyes to a whole new world out there"

"Bella you wanted to wait till you met someone special to had sex with remember you're the girl with the dreams and the goals not the….this Bella"

"Isn't this what you wanted? For me to be more care-free that's exactly what I'm doing. Plus, if I don't remember correctly you had sex your sophomore year with some guy you only knew for a month."

"That was different" she said quietly.

"How?" I asked arching my eyebrow.

"At least I waited a month you didn't even wait five minutes"

"Can't you just be supportive?"

"Fine" she growled picking up her bag "Here!" she threw me a condom "Just in case be careful please and Monday after school we're going to the doctors"

"Thanks" I said quietly

She hugged me "Be careful please Bella I don't want you to get more hurt"

I nodded "I won't Ali I know how to take care of myself I promise"

I decided to go the café near my house to get a bagel with cream cheese and some coffee. I was sitting down reading a book by Sarah Dessen when the chair across from me slid. I glanced up and there was Jacob Black; the perfect boyfriend in my parent's mind. Ever since we were toddlers our parents had planned our wedding…….they thought we were perfect for each other. We were both responsible with big plans ahead of us. Jacob was good looking and he always made me laugh but I couldn't see myself kissing the boy; he just felt like an acquaintance I was stuck with.

"Hello Jacob" I said with a small smile. Jacob was tall and muscular he was definitely good looking, he had short black cropped hair and tanned skin.

"Hi Bells I haven't seen you in awhile" he said with a huge grin. He had a crush on me. But honestly I didn't think it was me exactly I just think it was the pressure of both of our parents that got to him.

"Yeah I've been busy" I said as I closed my book making sure to place the bookmark on the page.

"Yeah I heard. I'm sorry it must suck" said Jacob playing with his hands. I could tell he was nervous, he was a nice guy and everyone said that we were perfect for each other. I had no idea why, I wasn't exactly the friendliest person to him because of my parents wanting him to be my boo.

I nodded slowly thankful that he didn't bring up exact details because that was the last thing I wanted to talk about right now "Yeah but what have you been up to?" I asked changing the subject.

He shrugged his shoulders "Oh not much just school as usual and I got internship with the governor so I'm pretty busy with that right now"

"That's amazing Jacob" I said honestly.

"Yeah so you doing anything this weekend because I was planning on going to the country club with my parents"

I internally sighed but I made sure to give him a small apologetic smile "No thanks Jacob I'm going to be busy this whole weekend with a few things maybe next time" I lied. I wasn't busy but I didn't want to go with Jacob to the country club. I hated it; people were so fake there. Plus, I did not want to give the kid any hopes.

"Okay" he frowned. _Great, now I feel horrible _I thought to myself. I grabbed his hand and smiled at him

"Maybe next week you and I can do something okay" I said softly.

He smiled instantly and then I wished I would've re-phrased my sentence to make sure it was platonic. I knew Jacob liked me and hoped that one day I would see him as my prince charming but that wasn't going to happen.

"I got to go Jacob" I said getting up because I just wasn't in the mood to be bitchy or to be nice "I'll see you soon okay"

"Yeah I'll text you"

I nodded and he pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head "Bye"

"Bye Bella take care"

I waved and walked home knowing that I would never call him to plan anything for next weekend.

I was at my house working on my AP US Government class research paper when my phone rang.

"Mom I'm doing school work" I told her as I flipped the phone open.

"Bella, I'm outside parked, come here please"

"Mom why don't you just come inside it'll be much more comfortable and you can finally see my new house" I told her with a fake smile knowing way better that my mother would rather shoot herself then come inside here.

"Bella just do as I ask….and that is not your house, my house is your house, please come outside I'm in a hurry I have a meeting with the girls later this afternoon at the country club and I still need to go home and get ready."

"Fine" I snapped my phone shut. I walked downstairs, out the door, and into her car were she was sitting down with her sunglasses as she critiqued the neighborhood like always. In my perspective, the neighborhood was good just because it wasn't the community wasn't gated and the houses weren't the size of the White House didn't mean that it wasn't a good area but that's my mom to you. She's old rich, been rich and will always be extremely rich.

"Mom" I said as I looked at her.

"Why are you so grumpy this morning? Not even a hello or a good morning" said Renee a little surprised and hurt. I bit the inside of my cheek I didn't want to be rude or anything not to her, she cared about me but damn I was just not in the best of my moods today.

"Sorry Mother I was so caught up reading about our horrible government that it got me in a bad mood…." I told her "So what am I here for?"

"Did you forget something this morning darling?"

"Um I don't think so…." My voice trailed off as I tried to think. Today was Saturday, on Saturdays I usually….Oh shit. I looked at my mother apologetically "Mom I am so sorry I totally forgot…..I'll e-mail the girls apologizing" Every Saturday morning, I was forced to attend the Rose Club which was basically a little club for elite well respected young members of society were we talked about crap and more crap. I hated going there.

"Isabella, your social life is as important as your academic life, and you cannot tarnish your reputation by missing out on an important meeting with the girls, these are Madeline, Victoria, and Janice! They are respected members of society, girls who you will interact with for the rest of your life….you need to realize that this is much more important then whatever you were doing this morning….and what were you doing?"

"I was…" I glanced around anywhere but my mother as I tried to figure out what to tell her but I came up with nothing. Nothing was going to be good enough to tell my mother unless….I looked at her with a smile on my face "I was with Jacob Black having breakfast it must've totally slipped my mind mother I am so sorry"

Renee smiled hugely at me "Really? Jake? That's great! I didn't even know…..oh this is wonderful I'll invite him and his family to dinner sometime next week and we can all catch up talk about future plans"

"Mother I am not dating him we were simply hanging out" I said with a forced smile. I should've thought more about this plan—I am going to have to call Jacob now. Great.

"Yes, yes of course…I forget do the Blacks like lobster or was it squid?"

"Mom" I pleaded. But it was useless I could see her mind working in overtime trying to plan everything from the dinner that was going to happen next week to our marriage to how much children we were going to have.

"Hmm"

"Please mother do not embarrass me by talking about Jake and I okay, we're just friends"

"Sure"

"Dad will be here any second" I said quickly.

"He will…" she put her sunglasses back on "…then I am sorry to say this but get back in the house sweetie I am in a great mood and I don't want to him to ruin it all"

"Of course" I opened the car door and then gave my mother a quick kiss on the cheek "I'll see you soon Mom"

"Yes. Remember do not miss another meeting at the country club again Bella or I am going to be disappointed in you"

"Yeah Mom"

"Yes" she corrected. "You know how much it irritates me when you say that, it's yes, its proper English"

"Ok Mother…" I got out of the car and waved at her before walking away rolling my eyes about ten times.

It was 10:05 and here I was waiting for Edward whatever to show up. I was sitting on the steps of the front door waiting for him. Charlie was sleeping already he said he was going fishing at the crack of down tomorrow so he was going to go to bed early. I rolled my eyes remembering my conversation with him when I saw him this afternoon

"_Dad" I said as I heard the door open._

"_Good morning Bells" he said as he strolled into the room all smiley faced and happy. I could've overdosed last night or been murdered in the house and he wouldn't have even know because he can't even pick up the phone to call me. _

"_You mean afternoon. I see you had a fun night" I couldn't help it the icy tone leaked out. It was just too much—first mom with her little tea club, that I hated going too, and all her stupid hopes and dreams that I didn't want. Then Dad sleeping around as if he was a teenager again, aren't I supposed to be the kid? Why must it be that I have to be the one to act like if I was the adult? Like my life wasn't complicated enough. _

_He scratched the back of his neck "Sorry I guess I should've called but I really needed this Bella things are changing and I know that a young woman like yourself could understand that. You only want to see me happy" he kissed my forehead "One day you'll understand"_

"_Of course" I said quietly "You're always right Daddy" _

I heard a car pull up and the brakes being slammed……That was Edward. He drives like a maniac. I got up and walked towards his car and slid inside the car.

"Hey" he said. I was just about to say hey back when he pulled me to him and kissed me. He pulled away slightly "Next time wear a mini skirt" he said then he drove off quickly towards God knows where. We drove in silence and then I just had to ask.

"What's your last name?"

He chuckled at my weird question but it was important to me I at least wanted to know his last name, maybe a few minor details….that was less slutty. "Cullen"

"Oh"

"Yours?" I knew he really didn't care he was just asking to be polite.

"Swan"

"Swan" he repeated "You know that swans are evil little creatures they're very aggressive even though they look so graceful and innocent….I'm beginning to think that your names were picked out just right for you."

"You think I'm aggressive" I said surprised. I wasn't aggressive at all I was shy, what was he talking about?

"Not yet but when I'm done with you, you will be" he put his hand on my knee and winked at me.

"Where are we going?" I asked him.

"Up to the woods there's a place were we can be alone" he said "Why do you live at your parent's house still?"

"Because it's cheaper"

"Hmm I see"

"Of course you wouldn't know anything about that"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You look like the typical rich kid. The car, the clothes, your room, everything about you"

"Really? Well I am rich actually really rich if you want details"

"Lucky you"

"Sure if you say so"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing Bella let's talk about something else"

"Okay. What?"

"Better yet. Let's not talk about anything okay" he grabbed my hand and led it to his jeans. "Give me a blow job"

My eyes widened I could not believe that he just asked me that. God I am so out my league right now boys that I go out with worry if they could hold my hand or kiss me good night on our first date. I guess that doesn't work so well when the first time you met, you sleep with him. "In the car while you're driving? People could see me?"

"You're such a virgin it's refreshing…..now hurry up!" he unzipped his jeans "I've been thinking about you all day this is your fault and you have to fix it."

"Um" I glanced at the mini van that was across from Edward's Volvo and imagined two kids in the backseat who are glancing around innocently and then BAM—I ruin their life forever "I can't" I whisper.

"Have you ever done this?"

I shook my head. "No okay but even if I did I wouldn't do this….it's not right. Can't you just wait till we get to the woods and we're completely alone?"

"Ugh" he groaned. He zipped back his jeans and sighed loudly. He turned up the music really loud so I knew to keep my mouth shut. After a few minutes, I turned off the radio and leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on his neck

"Ok I'll do it" I said quietly. He gave me a lopsided smile

"Good girl, don't worry I'll show you what to do" My hand was shaking as I reached for the zipper and he chuckled "Relax Bella you should know it's not going to bite"

I forced a smile and unzipped his zipper doing exactly what he wanted me to do. I pulled out his dick which was already hard even though we hadn't done anything at all.

"Go on your knees in the chair and don't worry about ruining the leather with your shoes its fine" he says. I do as he says and lean down until I'm face to face with his penis.

"So what do I do now?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he asks with a smirk.

"Right" I say feeling stupid.

Once I was finished, we drove around for thirty more minutes going more and more into the remote areas of the countryside. He finally pulled into a narrow road in the middle of nowhere and a few miles down there was a huge house.

"Is this yours?" I asked him as I got out of the car.

He shook his head "No it's my friends….look Bella be nice to him, he's a very important customer of mine and thanks to him I have more clients then I would have."

"Wait what are you talking about?"

"I sell" he said.

"Sell" I repeated slowly. "Oh" I said as the realization hit me. "But why? You have money?"

"You wouldn't understand" he said. He kissed me on the lips "Let's get in, it's chilly"

"Ok"

We went inside and there was a guy only wearing jeans and a perfectly muscled chest with blonde hair and light blue eyes "Well hello to you" he said looking at me with a lazy smile.

"Hi" I grabbed onto Edward's arm feeling so out of place and very uncomfortable. Could this boy be any more obvious that he's checking me out?

"This is Bella and this is James, now you know each other" said Edward walking to the living room leaving me alone with the wierdo. He sat down on the sofa and sat down like if he owned the place.

James put his arm around my waist and even gave it a little pinch "You are way too cute to be with this boy"

Edward snorted "Ha."

"Come on honey why don't you want to come with me to the kitchen? I'll fix you a drink."

"I'm not thirsty" I said taking his arm away from mine and scurried to Edward's side. Edward looked at me strangely and leaned into my neck "Relax, you're going to piss him off" whispered Edward.

I looked at James who had returned with a Vodka bottle and sat himself down next to me so I smiled at him

"So James is this all you do all day?" I asked hoping to get back in Edward's good graces again.

"Yep I just relax and do whatever the hell I want" he said like it was the coolest thing in the world. Honestly it was not—he was a bum.

"So no college?" I ask nodding my head.

"Nope school is for kids who need to go and I don't need too I have more money then Eddie himself"

"Don't call me Eddie" warned Edward.

James took out a small bag filled with white powder "You're such a pussy you wouldn't do shit to me"

"Don't test that theory"

I put my hand on Edward's knee "I need to use the bathroom"

"It's to your right past the kitchen" said Edward.

"Ok"

I got up and left but not before hearing their conversation.

"She is smoking! Where did you land her?"

"At some frat party"

"She looks like Virgin Mary with that whole innocent look….is she freak in the bed?"

Edward chuckled "Not yet."

"You should share"

"I'll think about it" said Edward "…just so you know don't count in it I hate to share"

"Remember that time when you hooked up with those two girls in that couch right there"

"Yes"

"I let you soil my couch! At least let me get something from your little friend"

"You got the cash?"

"Why do we have to talk about business?"

"Because Bella and I are going to go in about five minutes"

"And here I thought you were coming here to chill" said James "Why don't you take a hit before you go?"

I could hear Edward sigh "Fine…but then I want my cash James I got shit to do before I got to take her home"

"All right…"

I went into the bathroom then. When I came back out James and Edward were getting high and the room smelled weird. I sat down next to Edward

"Want a hit?" asked James.

"No thank you" I responded.

"Seriously?" asked James. He smiled lazily at me "Have you ever smoked weed Bella?"

"No" I said quietly.

"It's the best shit in the world" said James "It makes you feel relaxed and I think you might need it right now you look tense as hell"

"She doesn't have too" said Edward. His cell phone rang and he got up "Be back." He walked to the kitchen.

"Bella, Bella, Bella" James sang "Friendly advice, to be with Edward for as long as possible you got to be just like him, you got to smoke, have sex whenever, be ready for whatever or he's going to throw you away…you know I'm saying the truth…."

I bit my lip "Ok" I whispered.

I felt so relaxed and at ease so not like my usual self. It was great. No wonder so much people do this. Edward was kissing my neck and his hand kept going higher and higher up my shirt. I glanced to my left and there was James looking at us, his eyes lustful and horny. I glanced away and only paid attention to Edward's weird shade of hair as he sucked on my neck, he was going to definitely leave a hickey.

Edward's hand unclipped my bra and I froze a little but Edward whispered "Relax, just don't think" and I let him take off my bra and throw it at James' face. He made me lie down on top of him as he continued to massage my boobs and it felt fucking amazing.

"Oh fuck!" said James. He got up and the next thing I know he's touching my back, running his finger up and down my spine extremely slowly and damn it feels good. The next thing I know I'm being thrown to other side of the couch and Edward is getting off the bed

"I told you I don't share" growled Edward.

"Come on man, she doesn't mind" said James smiling.

Edward rolled his eyes "We're leaving Bella now"

"Okay" I get up and look for my bra but it's nowhere to be seen. I look at James and he's trying to look all innocent and whatever and I know that he has it. Pig. "James, where is my bra?"

He takes it out of his pockets and hands it to me but not before squeezing my ass "I'll see you around sexy"

"James" warns Edward.

"All right, all right, let me get the cash" James walks away.

"Get in the car Bella" says Edward. I nod and leave the house.

We were driving back home in complete silence. So far I had realized that Edward didn't talk much and he loved to have sex or anything sexual. So it was pretty obvious that he was only using me to get off but I didn't mind that because I was using him too—to be bad and to do stupid stuff and it did help that I was getting off too.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"You're talking more" he said quickly glancing at me then back at the road.

"Is that a bad thing?"

He smiled and looked over at me "Not exactly….I'll tell you when to shut up if you get annoying"

"Are you always so rude?" I found myself saying.

"Do you always ask so many questions?" he asked.

I hated when people asked questions instead of answering my questions; it was so annoying. I crossed my arms and looked out the window "You're irritating sometimes"

"I know" then he placed his hand on my thigh "But you like it"

"Whatever you say"

"Exactly whatever I say" he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He stopped the car we were in front of my house "Are your parent's home?"

"My dad is sleeping unless you haven't noticed it is almost two in the morning"

"Right….so then what are we waiting for?" The next thing I know he's getting out of the car and opening the door for me

"What are you doing?" I asked him

"Going to your bedroom"

"Why?"

He looked at me like if I was a child "Um it's called having sex would you like me to draw you a diagram?"

My eyes' widened in surprise. He had to be kidding me? Seriously? "In my room? My dad's right next door"

He smirked at me finding me amusing I suppose "Then I guess you can't scream this time…I could gag you if you want"

I blushed "You can't"

"Oh come on what are you so afraid of?"

"Just go"

"No I don't want too" I said frowning. I was going to get caught. I could imagine it now. Charlie would reach for the gun and blow Edwards brains off.

"Ugh" he said frustrated. "Come on just think how fun it'll be the risk"

When he mentioned risk for some dumb reason I looked at him and he was doing that intense staring thing that I was beginning to realize was my weakness "I guess you can….but you have to leave before 5 that's when my dad is going to wake up"

"I'll be gone as soon as I'm done with you."

I rolled my eyes and led him into my house. We walked silently up the stairs even though Edward kept on trying to make noises and I would keep swatting his arm every time he tried freaking out every single time that I heard a little noise. We finally reached my room and I quickly closed the door locking it.

"Nice room. It's very plain though" he said walking to my bed.

"I don't really have time to decorate it I just moved in here like a month ago"

"Oh" he sat down on the bed "So you're like new in town?"

"Not exactly my parents divorced" I said getting uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was going. So I quickly took off my shirt and my jeans only staying with my underwear.

"Oh that sucks" said Edward as he took off his shirt as he saw how quickly I was taking off my clothes.

"Yep" I pushed him down on my bed and straddled him "but let's not talk about that okay"

He smiled like if he had just realized something and he probably had and kissed me softly on the lips.

When I woke up in the morning there was a letter in the bed stand. In cursive it said

_Meet me at the frat house at 8 _

_Edward _

I smiled and folded the letter and hid it under my bed. I sighed and realized something how was I going to explain that a college girl was switching houses ever so often? I really needed his number.

Please Review.

Happy New Years!!


	3. Chapter 3

**I know I haven't updated in awhile but I've been really busy. Classes begin next week **

**Please leave reviews, I would really appreciate them. Enjoy! **

**Chapter Three**

I glanced at the clock it was 1:40 in the afternoon. I can't believe I slept till this late. I quickly rushed to the bathroom and took a quick shower and put on some jeans and a brown top. I go downstairs and sit on the couch and wait for my Dad. Always at 2:30 on Sundays Dad and I have lunch together, always ever since I could remember.

It was 2:25 and I was getting tired of watching Jersey Shore (my guilty pleasure) so I turned off the television and called my Dad. He picked up on the third ring "Hey Bells"

"Hi Dad….where are you? It's almost 2:30 and I'm starving" I told him.

There is complete silence on the phone and I frown knowing that he forgot all about me. How could he? What else was he going to forget about now that we all weren't living together? Now I had another thing to worry about maybe he would get a girlfriend and forget all about me.

"Um Bella I am so sorry I didn't…I just completely forgot. I'll be there in a half an hour I'm about to get in my car right now I swear I am just give me a half an hour…" I hear a woman's laughter and hear him call his name and I close my eyes trying to fight the tears that I know are going to come out.

"No it's fine stay where you are I'll see you in a few days" I hang up the phone. "I'm not going to cry" I chant over and over again until I feel myself calm down. I haven't cried ever since I was little and I was not going to cry; I couldn't. I was afraid that if I did I wouldn't be able to stop.

I run up the stairs and pack some things that I need for my mom's house because tonight I'm supposed to go to her place. I hear my phone ringing and when I see that it's my Dad I press ignore.

I lock the front door and put my things on the trunk and get into my car. I immediately call Alice I need some cheering up and she's the only who can do that.

"Hey do you mind if I come over?" I ask her as she picks up the phone.

"Um sure but only for a little while because I promised Jasper that we were going to watch a movie tonight"

"Like on a date?"

"No, just hanging out still" said Alice sadly "but I know he's going to ask me out, he's crazy about me"

"Have you kissed him yet?"

"Nope"

"Really?" I ask not believing that for one second. I always remembered every crush Alice had because it was like I was going through it. Alice was always straight up about her feelings and if she felt like kissing you, she would kiss you without thinking about it twice. I guess that's what makes her so loved; she doesn't mind making the first move.

"Seriously I really like him he's not a game, I'm doing this the right way"

"Well that's a surprise"

"Why?" she asked a little offended.

"Because it's just so unlike you, you're always so impulsive about everything and you're so passionate about your feelings and stuff….but I think it's nice that you're taking it slow it must mean he's a keeper"

"Oh he is! We talked last night for hours about the most silliest things"

"Then he must like you rest assured he'll ask you out on an official date and if he doesn't we'll spray paint his car"

Alice laughed "Thanks Bella! Well come on over, I'll be in the backyard"

"Ok be there in ten!" I hang up the phone grab my bag and go out the door to someone who does care about me. When I reach her house there she is in the backyard wearing a cute black sweater with a blanket over her reading a magazine. I cuddle in the blankets with her

"You saw him again didn't you?"

"You can tell that?" I ask her stunned. So it is true, people can tell when you have sex. I always thought that was just something that happened in the movies.

"Yeah, you look like you just got laid you got that whole glow about you" said Alice frowning.

"Hey don't be sad please, you don't have to worry about me I know what I'm doing Alice and…" I honestly don't know what else to say or how to convince her that I need Edward right now so I just change the subject "…let's talk about Jasper instead" that's all I needed to say before Alice began speaking animatedly

"Do you think we should watch a scary movie or a comedy?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Of course it does! Haven't I taught you anything?"

"Apparently not" I said laughing.

"If you watch a scary movie you can cuddle with him. Duh Bella!" she said smiling.

"Hey sorry I don't know all these stupid rules….then watch the scary one"

"I don't know if I want that because Jasper is so mature and I want him to think that I'm all grown up and all so maybe we shouldn't watch either of those genres"

"Then what are you going to watch? A romantic movie"

"I don't know" said Alice shrugging her shoulders "I wonder if there are any grown up movies playing like those boring documentaries or something like that"

"You need help!" I told her smiling "I'm sure Jasper would watch Transformers or Alvin & The chipmunks just as much as an eight year old if he is interested"

Alice smiled rolling her eyes "Okay. I guess you're right. I'll just ask him what he wants to see"

"Oh My God! Alice is going to let someone else decide what to do this is the end of the world"

"It so is, I mean you're having sex with some boy and I'm letting a boy make choices for me"

We both began laughing. See, this is why I love her because she always makes me forget about everything.

I arrived at the frat house with a midnight blue v-necked spaghetti strap and a mini skirt just like he requested. I had straightened my hair and put a hump on it. I saw Kyle immediately and hid quickly from his view but knocked into the huge guy from the other night

"Well if it isn't lovely….are you looking for Kyle?" he asked with a huge grin on his face.

"No I'm here for someone else" I said quietly glancing at the floor. Please don't let Kyle see me. That would be mortifying.

"Oh you're a troublemaker aren't you?"

I glanced at him smiling feeling a little bit better since I saw that Kyle was no where in sight "I'm Bella"

"Emmett" he stuck his hand out and we shook hands. He made sure to hold my hand longer then necessary "Who are you here for?"

"For me" said Edward wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck "So lay off"

"Ooo Damn Edward you get all the girls, don't you?"

"What can I say I'm irresistible Bella go up to my room I'll be there in a second okay?"

I nodded and went upstairs to his room. I sat down on the bed and waited for him. After a few minutes he showed up with a bottle of tequila "Want some?"

"No thanks" I said shaking my head "I'm driving home"

"Oh right" he drank straight out of the bottle and lied down on the bed plopping himself behind the pillows. Then he nodded for me to lie down too. I did and he pulled me into his chest. This was nice, comfortable even.

"Bella"

"Yes"

"I want to try something new with you"

"What?" I asked a little nervous.

"Just say yes or no"

"What is it?"

"Trust me"

"Fine" I said feeling uncomfortable again. Why couldn't he just kiss me and have sex with me already.

"Okay" he began playing around with my hair "Tell me more about you"

"What?" I asked pulling away from him. I looked at his eyes to see if he was playing games on me but he looked serious.

"Tell me more about you" he said slowly speaking like if I was retarded

"I heard you the first time it's just that usually you don't want details you just want to have sex with me"

"I do want to have sex with you Bella but I think if we talk you'll get more comfortable around me….so talk"

"Oh" I said. I thought I was doing well with the whole sex department. I guess I was bad or tense in it. I don't know and I sure as hell wasn't going to ask him because that would just be completely mortifying. "Okay…..My name is Isabella Marie Swan my birthday is in September and I've lived here all my life……I….I don't know what else to say"

"Just say anything" he said with a sigh.

"Ok…." I took a deep breathe and suddenly everything just spilled out "My parents told me they were getting a divorce a month ago. I just came home from this stupid tea party thing that they make me go to every weekend and they just told me over coffee like it was nothing. I went into complete shock I mean I didn't get it. They never fought, ever and now they didn't want to be with each other. My father moved out that same day and told me he had bought a house. I was told that I was going to alternating days with them, living one day with one and the other day with the other parent. When they asked me how I felt about all of this? I wanted to tell yell at them for ruining everything but I couldn't. I just nodded and told them I understood…." I laughed bitterly "I guess I don't have the guts to tell them what I'm feeling" I looked over at Edward and saw that he was watching me intently and I blushed and looked away

"I like it when you blush, most girls don't do that anymore" he said softly

"Well I hate it"

"You shouldn't hate it Bella that's what makes you unique"

"It's more like embarrassing"

"Why don't you tell your parents the truth?"

"Because I just don't" I told him. I smiled at him but I knew that he could tell it was fake but I knew he didn't care "can we have sex now?" I asked him.

"You're using me"

"You're using me too" I whispered.

He smiled "Yeah I am" then he kissed me.

I woke up the next morning at the sound of the alarm ringing loudly right in my ears. I opened my eyes and there was a black alarm clock right in the dresser I quickly turned it off.

"Damn it" said Edward putting on his boxers "We fell asleep"

"Oh, no Renee is going to kill me!" I jumped out of the bed and put on my clothes as quickly as possible "I'm going to be late for school too"

"Calm down, usually the professors don't care if you're late and the campus is right here. I'll even walk you to your class if you want me too"

I glanced at him with what I hoped was a calm rational smile "Oh no that's fine I have to go home change, take a shower, grab my books, then I'll go to class"

"Okay" he kissed me, a short chaste kiss, but it didn't matter my heart beat still quickened "I got to take a shower though but I'll see you later"

"Okay" He grabs a towel from the banister and begins walking towards the door. As he is about to open the door he turns his face around

"Bella" he says smoothly.

"Yes" I ask him hoping that it was going to be something short because I was in so much trouble.

"Leave your cell number on the desk ok"

"Okay" I said with a huge smile. He had asked for my cell that must mean something.

When I arrived at Renee's house she was there in her robe looking pissed off.

"Where the hell were you? Why didn't you come home last night? I was worried sick" said Renee angrily.

"Mom I can explain…." I said. I had already come up with the excuse that I was with Alice last night at her house watching a movie and that I had just fallen asleep. I would probably get grounded but nothing too big like if I told her that I forgot to come home because I was having sex with some college boy.

She interrupted me "I told you Charlie was trying to steal you away from me….that bastard. He made you stay didn't he and he couldn't even let you tell me." She shook her head and grabbed my hand "That asshole I hope he dies in hell"

I opened my mouth to defend him but then I shut it close. I hated myself for doing this, but I had to do it there was no choice, it was for the best. I squeezed her hand and gave her an apologetic smile "Yeah Mom I'm sorry but he told me not to call you he said you would be too busy too even notice since you're going out with so much men now' I lied through my teeth and I hated it, but I had to do it. She hated him so there was no point in me taking the heat for it.

"That bastard" she repeated again and again until she finally calmed herself down and glanced at me "You're late for school, get changed and I'll call the school and explain that there was an emergency"

"Thanks Mom" I kissed her cheek and ran up my room.

I arrive at school in time for second block and rush to my classroom thankfully the bell had just ring like three minutes ago so I wasn't that late.

"Miss Swan" said Mr. Wilson surprised. I had never once been late for his class, I was his star Student. He had written me my recommendation letters and talked nice things about me to everyone. He cleared his throat "Are you okay?" he asked me quietly as I passed by him. Apparently I was going to be lying a lot so I have to come up with better lies and since Mr. Wilson knew all about my troublesome past I was going to make sure that he felt sorry for me.

I smiled at him sadly "I'm so sorry Mr. Wilson but there was a family issue and I….I um I'm just really sorry it won't happen again I promise you."

"Of course" he leaned a little closer "And don't worry I won't count this against you this time I know that it must've been extremely important for you to be late."

I smiled gratefully at him "Thanks" I whispered and then I walked to my seat. Mr. Wilson quickly began talking about the various bones in a body while I took careful notes like always making sure never to miss anything important.

It was lunch time and I was walking to class when Ty walked up to me and hung his arm around my shoulder.

"So did your grandma die for you to miss first block?" he asked me. Ty was a good friend of mine he was tall with shaggy brown hair that hung over his brown eyes.

I glared at him playfully "No, I overslept. Please tell me you paid attention in class"

"When do I ever?" he asked with a boyish grin on his face.

I rolled my eyes "I have no idea how you made it this far…..you never pay attention and I'm pretty sure that your grades are horrible since you don't do anything ever."

"What can I say? I'm loved" he said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"There you are!" said Alice. She smiled at Ty "Hey kiddo" she pinched his cheek and he stuck his tongue out at her "Do you mind I need to have a private moment with Bella here"

"Okay" said Tyler looking at her weirdly before winking at me. "I'll see you later girls" then he walked away.

"Where were you last night?"

"At home" I replied. She arched her eyebrow "and then with Edward we went to his friend's house"

"Huh"

"Ali, come on, just please stop judging. I'm a big girl I know what I'm doing"

"Whatever you say" she said. She smiled then "So Jasper and I watched The Youth Revolt it was okay sort of kind of boring and stupid but it had some funny crazy lines but it was mostly stupid."

"But it looked so great! I really wanted to see that movie"

"It wasn't what it looked like that's all I'm going to say I'm not saying it was the worst movie I've seen but it was definitely up there or down there…..but Jasper was sweet he even offered me his sweater because it was freezing."

"That's cute" I said smiling.

"Yeah and he's picking me up from school he wants to have coffee well he'll have a coffee and I'll have a hot chocolate but whatever…"

"I thought you were going with me to the doctors"

"I am I'll meet you at our park at 4"

"Ok"

It was after school. Alice and I were sitting around this park near the school in the swings. She was telling me about her coffee date with Jasper

"So Jasper is absolutely amazing! He asked out on a date this Thurs. I can't wait to go out with him! I already picked out what I'm going to wear it's this cute light pink dress that I bought the other day."

"That's good Alice you really like him don't you?"

"Yeah totally" she said. "So how's it going with the STD guy?"

"He doesn't have STD's Alice and things are going fine with him" I told her. All during the day she had been calling him names and saying how much she hated him and how he was going to be a bad influence and honestly it was starting to get on my nerves, like a lot.

"Really?" she asked not believing anything. God I hated when she did this.

"Yep"

"No emotional attachment yet?"

"No" I said firmly. "Shouldn't we be going to the doctors we're going to be late"

"Right"

We got to the doctors and sat down. We saw Rosalie Hale enter the office. Rosalie Hale was Miss Popular she was head captain of the cheerleading team and the soccer team and was in the Mechanics Club. Weird combo, but guys loved her. She sat down across from us and opened up her magazine

"I wonder what she's doing here" whispered Alice in my ear

"Probably the same reason why we're here" I whispered back.

Rose looked up at us and laid eyes on me for awhile as if she was trying to figure out who I was. I don't think she would remember—I was just a genius nothing else. In her perfect cheerleader world all she must remember is her red convertible, her dance routines, her friends, and boys. I look away.

"Excuse me" she said in that soft sex voice of hers. I swear she's going to be a Victoria Secret model when she grows up. She looks like a freaking angel or a sex goddess.

"Yes" said Alice.

"Are you the one who's sleeping with Edward?" she asks bluntly as she stares at me so intensely.

"How did you know that?" I asked her surprised. God was he telling everybody that I slept with him? This is so embarrassing. What if my mother finds out? Or My Dad?

"So you're his new It girl" she said with a smirk.

"It?" repeated Alice

"You know Edward always sleeps around but he always has his main hoe you know……" she looked at me with a curious smile "I wouldn't think you were his type but have fun while it lasts because it never last long"

"How would you know?" I asked her defiantly.

"Because I was his main squeeze once too sweetie he's perfect in bed isn't he? Anyways be careful because he's known as the heartbreaker for a reason."

"I can take care of myself very well" I said calmly. But in the inside I was freaking out SHE WAS WITH HIM? God, I am not even close to her league. He probably thought I was an easy college freshman who he can play around with. God.

"Sure you can" said Rose with a smirk "Edward gets tired very easily of girls so always keep him entertained he's a jackass for a reason."

"Isabella Swan" said a nurse. I quickly got up and Alice followed after me extremely close to me.

"Whoa I can't believe Rosalie went with Sex on Legs, she's so pretty she could have anyone she wants too why would she want him? He's not even that good looking"

I arch my eyebrow "You have never even seen him and trust me he is perfect, he has these deep green eyes and this crazy bronze colored hair and his body is muscular and all okay? I can totally see them being together"

"Must hurt to know that he was with her"

I shrug my shoulders "They are not together now"

"Yeah you should talk to her get some information on Edward so that you can know how much time you have with the hoe bag himself"

"Alice could you just shut up about him?" I snap.

"Okayyy" she crosses her arms and looks the other way.

The meeting with Dr. Ozera was weird and a little bit uncomfortable I didn't know that she needed to ask so many questions but I answered them honestly. She gave me a prescription for birth control pills but I couldn't use them until my period finished and then it would take 2 weeks for them to fully work.

"So what time are you going to take them?" asked Alice on the way to my house.

"I don't know. Maybe at ten every night that seems like a pretty good time"

"Whatever" she says "… just make sure to take them at the exact time every day no matter what okay? I don't want you getting pregnant by that loser"

"God could you please just stop?"

"I'm just telling the truth that's what friends do"

"And as your best friend I'm telling you that you're being a bitch"

"The truth hurts sometimes Bella but sometimes it has to be said I'm only telling you because I love you like a sister"

That shut me up. I didn't know what to say to that. I loved her too. But God did she have to talk about him so much?

Edward gave me LSD today. He left them in inside an envelope and wrote a note telling me that it would cheer me up when I'm feeling down. My mom is downstairs right now and she's making out with this mystery man in the couch. He looks younger then her from far away. All I know is that if my mother is going to start acting like a cougar and start dating boys that are my age that I'm going to throw up and cut my hair off because that's just so wrong.

So I'm in my bathroom with two blotter papers in my hands staring at them. I want to take them so that I can forget but then I don't want to take them because drugs are bad. But….it hurts so much. I don't know what to do to make the pain go away, it's like this feeling that's always there and when something bad happens it just pops out and it all comes rushing back to me. I wish Edward was here and we could have lots and lots of sex so that I wouldn't have to think about it but he said he was busy when he called me to get my mother's address.

He's probably having sex with someone else. Who knows maybe it's even Rosalie. Ugh God. I can't think anymore about all this bad shit because I know I am going to start crying if I keep this up. So I put the blotter paper into my mouth and walk back to my room. At first nothing happened I just felt a little weird when I gasped as I realized I could see all the pores and every single cell in my hands. I rushed to the mirror tripping over a shoe and practically smacked my head on the mirror but all I did was laugh I didn't feel any pain. I touched and touched my face as I watched all the little cells in my face, it was amazing. It was like nothing I had ever experienced in my life.

After awhile I lied down on the floor and just looked around my room as I saw all the pretty colors float around the room, there were so many colors everywhere red, green, blue, every color was so vibrant and perfect. It was so silent and quiet and so peaceful. I felt like Dumbo the elephant with huge hears because at that moment I could hear everything. It was fucking amazing! It was so cool I wanted to feel like this forever, I could hear somebody's footsteps in the hall loud and clear. I just listened and listened to the person's footsteps. It was like music, it was beautiful and amazing and I hoped that person walked for hours and hours so that the music wouldn't stop.

"Miss Swan" said the maid as she opened the room. When she saw me, we looked at each other for awhile in complete silence.

I frowned "You made the music stop! Walk! Walk!" I yelled at her.

"Oh My God" she whispered as she clutched her mouth. "Miss Swan, are you all right?"

"Walk, please walk! I want to hear the pretty music" I mumbled as I closed my eyes. I head the footsteps again except this time it wasn't beautiful it was too fast and upbeat and it just wasn't right. I snapped them open and there she was right next to me kneeling on the floor and her face began to mush itself together and it was all swirling itself and it was so cool. "Alien" I laughed.

"I'm getting your mother" she said.

"No!" I grabbed her arm roughly "You can't….boy toy…." I told her.

"Oh Miss Swan" she said sympathetically. She tries to touch my head but I swap her hand away hard

"Don't touch me!" I yell.

She nods but doesn't say anything but continues to watch me. She's ruining the fun. I stand up and walk over to me bed and lie down on the comforter and see all the pretty designs on my comforter. She doesn't leave for the rest of the night.

The next day when I wake up I wince and touch the side of my head and I notice there's a huge bump

"Shit" I whisper. I walk to the bathroom and see it in the mirror it's not too big at least it's not bleeding. I can't help but smile as I remember last night that was the best experience ever, better then sex, better then anything. I felt like a bird flying far, far away. It was the best.

I take a quick shower and rush downstairs and I'm thankful that mom isn't anywhere in sight. I enter the kitchen and there is the maid Anna from last night.

"Hi Anna"

She drops the toast to the floor and kneels to pick it up, she throws it in the trash and then looks at me "Good Morning Miss Swan" she says softly.

"Look about last night you don't have to worry because that was a mistake and it's never going to happen again"

She nods "Really, it's not. I had a horrible day and I don't know what happened but the next thing I know I was….well you know. But I assure you I learned from my consequences and it won't occur ever just please don't tell my mother."

"I believe you Miss Swan" she says after a long moment of silence.

I smile relieved "Thank You Anna."

"Would you like to eat breakfast outside or in the dining room?"

"Actually I am not hungry but thank you anyways….I'll see you later Anna"

"Good Bye Miss Swan"

I get into my car and grab my cell phone and text Edward as I drive to school.

_Thanks for gift last night, it was amazing!_

**You actually tried it? **

_Yeah. Didn't think I would?_

_**I'm surprised and impressed. **_

_I want more _

_**It'll have to cost you.**_

_I have money_

_**I wasn't talking cash I have enough of that I was talking in other favors ;)**_

_Oh well whatever you want_

_**Great I'll see you tonight then. **_

Today for the first time when I'm in class I don't listen or write notes or anything instead I just daydream about what the next time I take LSD is going to be like. Is it going to be better then the first time or a let down like everything else? Are all drugs the same? Do they have different experiences, if so I wonder if Edward would let me try them?

The day passes quickly. I'm soon about to get to my car to leave when Ty calls my name

"Hi Ty what's up?"

"Hey are you okay? You looked a little distracted in class today"

I shrug my shoulders "I guess I'm just exhausted. I'll be better tomorrow"

"I swear Mr. Wilson was going to have a heart attack when he noticed that you weren't paying attention'"

I chuckle quietly "There's always a first time for everything"

"True but not for you" Ty puts his arm around my shoulder and I lean into his arm comfortably "Things are pretty shitty huh?" I nod "Want to get some coffee?"

"Sure"

"Cool then you can give me a ride home"

"Oh so you only want to hang out with me so that I can give you a ride home"

"Duh" he says jokingly. He opens the door for me and I climb in and unlock his side. He gets in and puts on his seatbelt "You know that I love hanging out with you, you're a breath of fresh air"

"Sure I am" I tell him laughing as I pull out of the parking lot. "Can I ask you something?" I ask in a more serious tone.

"Yep"

"Have you ever tried drugs?"

"Whoa…that's a strange question" He glances at me "Why?"

"Just curious I read a book about it and the way it expressed everything it was really…..interesting."

He chuckles "Only you would ask something as strange as that."

"Well" I press.

"I've smoked week but that's it all that other stuff messes you up"

"And what does weed feel like?"

"Didn't your book talk about that?"

"Yes" I nodded "…but they talked about the other drugs like LSD, Coke, and Speed things like that"

"Oh" he turned on the radio. It was low like a background music "Well it just makes you feel calm, relaxed that's all I guess it depends on the person though…." I glance at him and smile at him "….are you thinking about experimenting?"

"No" I say loudly. "God that's crazy….me on drugs?" I snort "You know that I would never ruin my future like that"

"Of course your mother would kill you first"

"Shut up"

"It's true your mother is crazy if I had a mother like that I would probably decide to join the army just to piss her off and she can't even say anything about that I mean I'm defending the country you know"

"She's not that bad she just cares about me and my future"

"Rich parents suck"

"Not all of them"

"Whatever you say Bella"

"Let's talk about something else I don't want to argue with you"

"Okay….get this? You know the girl who sits in the front in Wilson's class well she's pregnant"

"No"

"Yes. I totally saw her baby bump"

"Maybe she's just gaining weight"

"Right all in her lower belly….who would want to have sex with her? She's ugly and rude and she smells"

"Ty that's mean"

"It's the truth"

"Why is that the truth always has to be hurtful?"

"Because it just is….people don't want to listen nowadays they want things to go their way and when it doesn't they get all crazy about it" he shakes his head "That's why I just live in the moment less disappointment"

"I truly wish I could be like you"

He smiles at me "That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me"

"It's true though sometimes I wish I could just escape from my world and be okay with everything" I turn off the ignition off the car and glance at him. Ty is staring at me strangely and I think that he might suspect—I'm talking too much. I don't know what to do so that he doesn't ask questions so I grab him and kiss him. I'm waiting for him to pull back but he isn't instead he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him. Oh God what have I just done???

Please Review.


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